Remorse and Reconciliation Read online

  Remorse

  And

  Reconciliation

  By Don H Miller

  Table of Contents

  Table of Contents

  Preface

  Chapter 1: A Proposal

  Chapter 2: Unpleasant News

  Chapter 3: A Visit to the Bennets

  Chapter 4: It is Settled

  Chapter 5: Elizabeth Returns to Longbourn

  Chapter 6: Wickham, Darcy, and Bingley

  Chapter 7: Letter to Kitty

  Chapter 8: Elizabeth Visits Pemberley

  Chapter 9: Jane and Bingley

  Chapter 10: Darcy Returns

  Chapter 11: Surprises in Hertfordshire

  Chapter 12: Relatives and Friends

  Epilogue: Darcy’s Journal Entry – November 17, 1809

  Copyrighted 2016

  Don H Miller

  Preface

  As in this author’s previous books, the characters in this book are those found in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice plus others he has introduced in previous books, however, familiarity with the previous books is not necessary. Some familiarity with Pride and Prejudice is required.

  This novella is an alternate ending to Pride and Prejudice, beginning after Darcy’s unfortunate proposal at Hunsford Cottage. It assumes Darcy did not write her a letter detailing his background with Mr. Wickham and explaining his part in the separation of Bingley and Jane. However, in this version, Elizabeth is slightly more proactive in trying to win back Darcy’s good opinion of her.

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious and are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Acknowledgements

  The picture on the book cover is “The Request” by Edmund Blair Leighton.

  Chapter 1: A Proposal

  Darcy’s journal entry: April 3, 1809

  This evening I made a foolish, irrational decision, which cost me dearly. When Elizabeth, complaining of a severe headache, did not come to Rosings with her cousin and his wife for dinner, I decided to go to the Collins’ house, as soon as dinner was completed, to see how she was. When I was shown into the parlor, where she was sitting, reading a letter, I was overcome and gave into an impulse I have been harboring since I first saw her a few days ago. She is the only woman I have ever met with whom I could imagine spending the remainder of my life, and therefore, like a lovesick man ruled by his emotions, I confessed my love for her and asked her for her hand in marriage. Her response was as a heavy blow to my stomach. She refused, and not only refused, but said I was the last man on earth she would marry.

  Why had I thought she would welcome my proposal? Why did I believe that all those times in Hertfordshire when we had been in each other’s company, she had shown a preference for me and had even flirted with me at times? I asked her if she had noticed how often I looked at her and she confessed she had, but had thought they were looks of disdain—that I was finding fault in her. How could she not see the preference I was showing for her?

  Perhaps, when I proposed, I made a mistake by first telling her of all the obstacles I had to overcome to make a proposal to her. I thought the strength of my love was demonstrated by reminding her that a woman of her low status, lack of wealth and connections, and inappropriate family would normally never receive a proposal from one of my status. Instead, she took my listing of her societal shortcomings as an insult, and, in retrospect, perhaps it was, but I thought she was a rational woman. Surely she knew what I told her was true. I believed I was anticipating her asking me how I could overlook her lower status.

  She listed my part in separating her sister Jane from Bingley as a main reason she could not accept me. She had been reading a letter from her sister when I entered the room and claimed that in the letter, Miss Bennet expressed her sadness at losing the only man she had every loved. I had told Bingley I could not see in Miss Bennet’s countenance or treatment of him that she harbored deep feelings for him, because she always seemed to display the same serene face and use the same soft, unemotional voice to him that she presented to everyone. I was convinced she was pursuing Bingley at the insistence of her mother. I cannot fault myself for my actions in this case. I regret helping separate them if they were truly, mutually in love, but I did what I did, believing I was saving Bingley from a loveless marriage.

  But the most devastating reason she gave for disliking me was my ill-treatment of Wickham. She had believed him when he told her I had denied him the living which my father had verbally promised him upon his graduation from Cambridge. That she should believe him, even if he is a master liar, is beyond my comprehension. First, did she not understand that his telling her such personal things on so little acquaintance was inappropriate? But even worse, how could she, who had known me for four weeks, believe I would so dishonor my father as to not honor his wishes. Does she truly believe I am such a disloyal, untrustworthy man? She could not have insulted me more.

  I suppose I should be thankful to her for saving me from a most inappropriate and unhappy marriage. I thought her a thoughtful, discerning woman, and I was obviously mistaken. As I walked back to Rosings from Hunsford, I thought about writing her a letter, which I would hand her in the morning, refuting Wickham’s claims and explaining why I had helped separate Miss Bennet and Bingley. However, on second thought, I decided against it. It would be inappropriate, both for me to write to her and for her to accept it. Besides, what should I care what she thinks of me now? We will probably never cross paths again—at least not if I can prevent it.

  

  Elizabeth Bennet’s journal entry: April 3, 1809

  I cannot believe Mr. Darcy told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. How did I miss the signals he must have sent to me which would have implied he favored me so much? How could he not comprehend that his manner of asking me to marry him rather guaranteed I would refuse him? Telling me that my situation in life—having no wealth, no connections, and an unsuitable family—would be unacceptable to his family and friends is hardly the way to start a proposal to one such as me. Yet, that he asked me, despite my shortcomings, astounds me. I wonder how receptive I would have been to his proposal if he had started in a more gentlemanly manner. I also wonder what our relationship might have been if I had never heard his disparaging statement about me at the assembly.

  Of course, I could never marry a man who admits, without remorse, that he was instrumental in separating Mr. Bingley and Jane. Who is he to judge how much my sister loves Mr. Bingley by just observing her? Perhaps I should have told him he was much like the pot calling the kettle black. He certainly showed no indication to me that he favored me. Charlotte guessed he liked me because he watched me so often and seemed to seek my company more than normal, but one could never tell it by his facial expression.

  On reflection, I believe he may be justified in his unhappiness with my acceptance as truth all that Mr. Wickham told me about him. I should not have been so willing to accept Mr. Wickham’s disparagement of Mr. Darcy on so little acquaintance. As I look back, my dislike of Mr. Darcy and my acceptance of anything anyone said against him began when he expressed his low opinion of my beauty. Obviously I was extremely upset that he thought me only tolerable. I was also upset he thought I was being slighted by other men. I danced almost every dance. Why would he say that, and given that he did, why was I so upset? I usually ignore such expressed opinions, being sure in my own mind that I am prettier than most girls and knowing I am never lacking dance partners. Would I have accepted the truth of everything Mr. Wickham said, had I never heard those remarks of Mr. Darcy? Could it be that I am also the pot calling the kettle black? I accused Mr.
Darcy of too much pride. Is it that I am also guilty of too much pride, and that is why his remarks made me so angry at him?

  I am sure refusing him was the correct response, for we cannot be compatible and in the end, I believe ours would be a very contentious and unhappy marriage, but as I think about it, I suppose I should be flattered he was willing to ignore all the reasons he should not marry me.

  I doubt we will ever meet again, and if we do, it will be as, at best, neutral acquaintances, for I am sure he will never be able to overlook the way I insulted him by believing Mr. Wickham, instead of remembering the good opinion Jane and Mr. Bingley had of him. However, had I been able to overlook all my complaints about him and his manner of proposing and accepted his proposal, it certainly would have guaranteed that my family would not be thrown into the hedgerows, should Papa die. It is difficult for me to imagine what it would be like being married to someone so wealthy.

  

  Two days after his disastrous proposal, Fitzwilliam Darcy was on his way from Rosings Park to London. He managed to finish up his review of the books at Rosings and had no trouble convincing his cousin, Col. Richard Fitzwilliam, they should leave for London.

  “You still have not told me why you are in such a rush to return to London,” said Fitzwilliam. “It seemed to me Aunt Catherine was less obnoxious than usual about you marrying Anne, and we had the pleasure of the company of Miss Elizabeth. Surely we could have stayed another day or two.”

  “I told you, Richard, I need to return to Pemberley. Working on the books at Rosings reminded me of matters I had forgotten to address before I left for London which need my attention. I have to speak with Avery directly about them. Sending letters back and forth would take too long. Besides, Georgiana did not truly want to go to London this year because her favorite mare is foaling soon and she wants to be there when it happens. I have decided I am not interested in participating in the ton this year and since you will be leaving next week for France, there is nothing to keep me there. I have done my yearly penance at Rosings and all I want to do is return to Pemberley and enjoy myself.”

  “How about your newly awakened desire to find a woman suitable to produce an heir?”

  “Every time it comes time for me to actually actively look, I remember past disasters and all of my enthusiasm goes away.”

  “I thought Miss Elizabeth might increase your interest. She is a remarkable young woman. If there are women such as her in lower society, surely there are some like her in our society.”

  “Unfortunately, I have discovered she is not as suitable as she seems. I grew tired of Aunt Catherine’s pontifications during the last dinner with the Collinses, so I took a walk after dinner and thought, as long as I was out, I would stop by the Collinses to check on Miss Elizabeth. She was not particularly happy to see me, because she had just received a letter from her sister Jane telling her how unhappy her sister was at losing Bingley, the only man she had ever loved. She had somehow discovered my part in their separation and berated me for it. How she discovered I had a hand in it, I know not. But even worse, Wickham told her I had refused to honor father’s pledge to give him the living at Kympton, and she believed him, despite knowing me for weeks and it being inappropriate for him to divulge such personal things so early in their acquaintance. She is not as discerning as I believed. It seems there are no women out there who will meet my requirements—even ones I would never think of marrying.”

  Fitzwilliam nodded. “I can see that would upset you. It would even upset me. Unfortunately, I must confess, it was I who told her about Bingley and Miss Bennet, although I did not know I was doing so. I told her you had recently saved Bingley from an unsuitable marriage with a young woman whose family was unacceptable and whose motives were suspect. I had no idea the woman was her sister. As close as she seems to be to her sister, I can see why she is unhappy with you.”

  “It is of no consequence, Richard. No doubt, she suspected I was at least partially responsible for separating Bingley and Miss Bennet, and you just corroborated her belief. I do hope that in the future, she visits Mrs. Collins at a time other than Easter, or I may have to change the time I go to Rosings.”

  Chapter 2: Unpleasant News

  Darcy’s Journal: April 5, 1809

  I managed to escape from Rosings without seeing Elizabeth again. Richard agreed to leave, although he was not as anxious this time because Elizabeth was there and he had enjoyed her company. Hopefully, I am now over my ridiculous infatuation for her and I will not see her again.

  My homecoming to Darcy House was met with bad news. Mrs. Annesley informed me it was necessary that she give me two weeks’ notice. Her daughter in New York in America is pregnant again and having three children already, asked her mother if she would come live in New York and help her run the household. Her daughter claims she cannot find good help and that the children would love to have their grandmother live with them.

  Mrs. Annesley will be a big loss. The eight months she has been with us, as Georgiana’s companion, she has been a tower of strength for Georgiana, but even so, Georgiana has still not been able to put the Wickham incident completely behind her. Georgiana is distraught, because she came to love Mrs. Annesley, but she understands that family comes first. I had a long discussion with Mrs. Annesley about what Georgiana needs most and she, to my surprise, believes Georgiana, more than anything else, needs a young woman of her age as a companion with whom she could share her problems and have as a close friend—something Georgiana has never had. However, she conceded the young woman would have to be a gentlewoman and would have to be willing to leave her family to stay with us for several months and, perhaps, until she or Georgiana is married. Also, the woman’s family would have to be willing to allow her to act as a companion. Mrs. Annesley thought that if we could find a girl of Georgiana’s age within a genteel family of limited resources, the father might be happy to give his daughter the opportunity to live with a high society family and perhaps debut in the ton with Georgiana—something which less wealthy young ladies can usually only dream might happen. Of course, no salary would be offered, because a gentlewoman’s father would likely not want his daughter to work for salary while he was alive, but the benefits his daughter would receive, possibly including an addition to her dowry, should please him and make him see the benefits.

  (Hours later) We have just returned from Matlock House, where we discussed the problem with Uncle Robert, Aunt Helen, and Alicia, but they knew of no one with the qualifications we needed. The only young gentlewoman we know near Georgiana’s age is Cynthia Dumont, who is two years older and whose family is one of the wealthiest in England. Aunt Helen promised to do some investigating, but I fear we may have to advertise for another companion like Mrs. Annesley, although I suspect there are none available who will be as good as she has been.

  

  The next morning, just before eleven o’clock, as Darcy was sitting at his desk in his study going through correspondence, Parker, the butler, showed Darcy’s Aunt Helen and another woman into the room. “Aunt Helen, this is an unexpected pleasure. Have you found someone?”

  “William, let me introduce Mrs. Madeleine Gardiner. She is the founder of the charity, Hope House, which I support. Mrs. Gardiner, this is my nephew, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy.”

  “Good day, Mr. Darcy. It has been many years since I last saw you.”

  Darcy looked at Mrs. Gardiner, trying to remember where he had met her. She definitely looked familiar. “Let me give you a hint, William,” said Lady Matlock. “She grew up in Lambton.”

  Darcy looked at her more closely and then his eyes widened. “Miss Maddie Rodgers! The belle of Lambton, stolen away from Lambton by an outsider.”

  “I do not know that I was the belle of Lambton, but I was once Maddie Rodgers and saw you many times when you were young. I believe I last saw you when you were 14 and home from Eton for the summer.”

  “So you are the amazing woman about whom my aunt has been ravin
g who started her favorite charity. Why did you not tell me this before, Aunt Helen?”

  “Because I did not know until this morning. Neither she nor I had ever mentioned you, and I had never asked where she lived as a girl. When I told her my nephew, Mr. Darcy, had a problem with which she might be able to help us, she told me her connection to you. She also tells me you know her niece, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, whom I know quite well.”

  “You are the aunt Miss Elizabeth often mentioned, but whose name she never gave me? I can hardly believe it. The coincidence is amazing. How is it you thought you could help us?” Then he grimaced and shook his head. “Of course, I assume you are thinking of Miss Elizabeth’s sisters, Miss Catherine and Miss Lydia. They both are close to Georgiana’s age.”

  “Yes. More specifically, I was thinking of Catherine. She turned 17 this last January, so she is chronologically ten months older than Miss Darcy. However, with respect to maturity, I suspect they are much the same age.

  Darcy hesitated as he remembered his dislike of the demeanor of the two younger Bennet girls. “I hope you will not be offended, Mrs. Gardiner, but when I met Miss Catherine last fall, she seemed a bit flighty and undisciplined. I am not sure she and Georgiana would be a good fit.”

  “I agree with your assessment of her as she was then, Mr. Darcy, and had she not changed, I would not recommend her. However, if you know my niece, Elizabeth, you must know she was extremely upset with Lydia’s and Catherine’s behavior at the ball which Mr. Bingley hosted last November. Consequently, she has taken Catherine in hand for the last four months, drilling her on how a gentlewoman should act and forcing her to study and work on her art and singing. Elizabeth is visiting her friend in Kent at the moment, but if she were here, I believe she would tell you Catherine has realized the error of her ways and has matured considerably. She undoubtedly has a ways to go, but I believe you might want to speak with her and Mr. Bennet. And I am sure Mrs. Bennet would encourage her to go with you if you found her acceptable.”